Hockey Christmas, Everyone...

...and, naturally, it's time to hand the presents out. And a special big lump of coal for Mr Andrew Sharp. But that's by the by-let's see what the Elite League (should) find in their stockings this Christmas:

Scott Kelman (Coventry): A rocket, and someone to show him where to put it: Failing that, a dummy or a mute button is equally acceptable. One of the most frustrating players in the league (particularly if you're a Blaze fan) the big centre has undoubted talent (you don't become a first round pick for nothing, and early in the season some of his passing and puck possession was a joy to behold) but has shown it all too rarely in Blaze colours, making his public more and more frustrated with each passing week. His effort expended on letting the referees know what he thinks of their performance is, however, unimpeachable, mainly due to the fact that he seems to have an opinion on every bloody whistle. Questions are now being asked, especially with the big build-up he was given by the Blaze PR machine (which appears to be in need of a bit of attitude adjustment itself), and to many it's only a matter of time before he leaves these shores. I really hope that the Christmas Fairy brings him some fire in the belly for the new year, otherwise he'll become a regular in the "greatest letdowns" club with such well-loved Blaze players as Steve Gallace-which is a fate that quite frankly no-one should suffer.

Burt Henderson (Newcastle): A bit of good luck. Poor man. In the best part of a season already at Newcastle, spread over two campaigns, you'd be priveleged if you'd seen him step onto the ice-he's played a total of five games this seasonbefore being injured, after missing large amounts of last season. In all the meetings, home and away, between the Blaze and Newcastle, I've never seen him in a Vipers shirt, due to a combination of injury and (at the beginning of this season) late arrival. Give the man a break, please...in the good way.

The Coventry Blaze: Jon Coleman, or someone of his ilk, on a permanent contract: God knows, it's needed.

Ryan Finnerty (Sheffield): Not really a present, more a good deed. Can someone please nip up to the Hallam Arena and help this guy out-judging by his comments in the press this season so far he seems to have a foot jammed in his mouth. Seemingly this is something of a common complaint across the league after originally breaking out in Sheffield-now Coventry have the same problem just in time for Christmas.

Kevin Reiter (Basingstoke): A defence: Eric Braff has been performing miracles in front of him, but the Bison have been leaking shots quicker than a smashed vodka bottle at the Christmas party. And even after his epic performance in Coventry a few months ago, the man can't stop them all...

Hull Stingrays: A coach: Yes, the random digs at the incompetent (at least when it comes to attacking hockey), stiflingly boring and endlessly-optimistic press releasee-machine that is Rick Strachan return to the Breakaway. Surely, if his presence at the club wasn't inextricably linked to that of owners Mike and Sue Pack, who between them keep the Stingrays afloat, he'd have gone or been forced out a long time ago...

The Elite League All-Star Game: An actual point: Come on, EIHL, you're not fooling anyone at the moment. February's meeting is nothing more than a cash-cow for the owners.. Now, if you make the win worth a point to the teams from the winning region, as has been suggested and already rejected by certain clubs in the league, then it might be worth watching. But who's going to pay fifteen quid for a friendly which technically isn't even what it says-I mean...an All-Star game full of uninterested players, with restrictions on how many players you can pick from each team, and even what nationality they are? For fifteen quid a ticket? Seriously?
That's not an All-Star game-that's just a joke. And a poorly-attended, unfunny one at that.

While we're on about cash-cows...rumours that the Vipers have been trying to raise cash by hiring Andre Payette out to every school nativity play going (well, no child wants to play as a donkey's rear end with their parents in the crowd-did you?) are cruel, vicious and completely untrue. They couldn't get him to every nativity play in the North East due to the high demand, so Andrew Sharp was drafted in as a stand-in, as he has time on his hands until March now....

And on that note, I'm off to prepare for the Yuletide festivities...but before I go...

A Merry Christmas from the Breakaway to everyone involved in British hockey, be it fans, players, or team staff (hell, it's the season of goodwill, so let's even include officials). May you get everything you wish for...

The Breakaway will be back from its Christmas break either on Saturday night or Sunday (or, if you're really lucky, Boxing Day eve if I'm not sleeping off Christmas), as we consider the repercussions of Rivalry Day in the EIHL and assess the league at its halfway point...until then, keep keeping your eye on the puck, and Joyeux Noel a tous...