For Whom The Godiva Bell Tolls: Colin Hemingway is, unsurprisingly, a big, big target this off season. Until Adam Calder decided that he'd rather stay in Coventry than chase the evil euro, he was the Blaze's new first line winger, with pen hovering above paper. With Calder back, though, he won't be....
...but maybe he'll just drop a line instead. How does Stewart/Kelman/Hemingway sound as a second line, Blaze fans?
Dan Tessier to Belfast: Here is someone, on the other hand, who would play rec if you paid him a few hundred more than anyone else was prepared to-and the Giants, unlike the Steelers, are...
Dwight Parrish back to Manchester: So much for retiring...from coaching Bracknell to signing (confirmed on the EIHL website). Parrish gives his nous and veteran presence (yet again) on the Phoenix blue-line. It seems you can take Parrish away from Manchester hockey, but you can't take his love for the place away.
Rumours that this takes the average age of the Phoenix roster this season to about 373 are unconfirmed as yet, though. :)
Rich Bronilla to Coventry: ah, that old chestnut, based on no more than being Neal Martin's mate. David Cullen is still the number-one target by all accounts, but Bronilla is a hell of a fall-back...
Shaun Sutter to Hull:...to replace Rob Rankin (see below). Nottingham to Sheffield to Belfast to Hull...poor old Shaun is coming down in the world. However, if he doesn't have it coached out of him by Rick Strachan, the Stingrays might have a genuine offensive threat...
And confirmed...
Rob Rankin to Newcastle: The Hull exodus continues, with their top scorer now moving across the Tees and Tyne after being chased for a while by Rob Wilson...hot off the presses, this one...
Nathan Craze to Belfast: An old one, this, but I've just caught up with it now. Steve Thornton has the best back-up in the EIHL (unless someone signs Mark Lee). If, unlike Ed Courtenay last season, he can get the starting netminder right the Giants will start to look very strong indeed.
So there you go...
Now onto the frolics for a Friday...as we look at the top ten moments for hockey on the big-screen (well, my personal ten, anyway)...Hockey movies are a bit thin on the ground compared to the rest of American sports-everybody knows Slapshot and the Mighty Ducks but Youngblood, Mystery Alaska and "Rocket" are a bit more "niche" for the vast majority of casual hockey fans. However, given that they're a part of hockey culture and any hockey fan or player worth his salt should be able to drop a reference such as "Hanrahan...your wife's a lesbian! A LESBIAN!", here's a quick guide to the best moments of hockey on celluloid. These clips can all be found on youtube somewhere (I couldn't add the links thanks to blog software being a bit tempramental)...and may have a naughty word or two to appear in the list (just in case you're easily offended)...
10: Little Richard sings the National Anthem (Mystery, Alaska): Possibly the longest version of The Star-Spangled Banner ever committed to film-it's worth it just to see the NY Rangers shivering.
9: "Ya wanna go, pretty boy?" (Youngblood): Funny just to see Rob Lowe (possibly the least-convincing hockey player ever) win a stick-fight against someone twice his size. The fact he's avenging an injured Patrick Swayze and also scores the winning goal makes it even funnier...
8: "Hanrahan! Suzanne sucks pussy! I know! I know!" (Slapshot): Paul Newman-inspiration for pests and trash-talkers ever since...
7: "Like a mother walrus! Thwap! Thwap! Thwap!" (Mystery, Alaska): The comeuppance for this less-than-chivalrous description of one of the Mystery players' conquests in bed is a punch in the face with a shovel and a VERY painful naked skate-and-slide...hilarious to watch, though.
6: "Blow it out your ass!" (Mystery, Alaska): In one line Burt Reynolds (possibly the best fictional hockey coach ever) sums up what everyone has ever wanted to say to a referee. Disgust, anger, contempt...it's all there in those five words.
5: Steve Hanson shuts up a referee with one sentence (Slapshot): Yes, everyone rhapsodises about the Hanson brothers. Of their many golden moments, few are funnier than the referee who tries to warn them before the game as the anthem plays and is simply ignored as, without even bothering to look at him, Steve Hanson scares him off with the immortal line "I'm listening to the FUCKING SONG!"
4. The Triple Deke (Mighty Ducks): Clearly thought up by someone who'd never played hockey, as if you actually try this move at the speed Joshua Jackson does, you usually get nailed pretty quickly. But the last penalty shot against the Hawks is funny purely for the way you wonder just how bad the supposed "best goalie in pee-wee hockey" has to be to be beaten by the slowest deke in recorded history.
3. The Cat's penalty save (Mighty Ducks II): Not least because, when you're twelve, Julie Gaffney is possibly the best-looking hockey player on the team. Add the comedy of her being brought in just to face a penalty shot from the boy she's fallen secretly in love with (who is also the best player on the evil team) and the ridiculous slow-mo, and it just gets funnier. Add the fact that the villains are Iceland (Iceland?!) and the believability goes right out of the window. But "The Cat" is still a cool nickname.
2: Any moment in "Miracle" that involves a choice, motivational speeches or the USSR game: Because Kurt Russell is great as Herb Brooks, the hockey scenes are actually convincing and don't just concentrate on improbably skilful play by the stars (yes, I'm talking to you, Mighty Ducks)-and the over-acting of the "emotional" parts is funny in itself. Then, of course, there's "do you believe in miracles? YES!"
1: Any fight/Hanson brothers appearance in Slapshot: Just because. Honourable mention to the Ned Braden taking-his-clothes-off homage in Mighty Ducks (where the Bash Brothers go for it in the box). Slapshot is possibly the original and best hockey film-even if it is more than 40 years old. What other film lets people instantly know you're a hockey fan when you quote a line-and has lines for any purpose? I can't think of any...
That's your Friday Frolics over with...feel free to share your favourite hockey film moments, and keep keeping your eye on the puck...
