"To the game and getting out of this hick town! Thank God there's a sport for middle-sized white boys..."
Patrick Swayze as Derek Sutton, in "Youngblood"
It would, frankly, be remiss of me not to start this column without mentioning the death of Patrick Swayze, not because I'm a closet Dirty Dancing fan or anything like that, but because one of his finest moments is in one of the best bad films ever, and naturally, it's about hockey. "Youngblood" is one of those films every hockey player has seen, every fan has probably seen, and every one of them can fire a quote off where necessary (the only hockey film which comes close to the original Slap Shot for this.) It's interesting, though, that it's held in such high esteem that people forget how horrific it is if you're watching it with any semblance of having your brain engaged.
Why? It has Rob Lowe as a superstar junior forward, Swayze as the "mentor who gets viciously taken out for the big emotional/serious/provide a villain" bit, Keanu Reeves as a French-Canadian nettie (that sentence is in italics, just because it's hands-down funny to think about). Oh, and the plot runs something like:
superstar American hockey junior goes to play in Canada, gets beaten the crap out of at camp but makes it due to his skills, making an enemy of the headcase who beats him up (who by the way, will return later). Then there's much "normal" season stuff, sex etc, before the team make the finals and superstar's best mate gets his career ended by the headcase (costing him an NHL draft place in the process), who just happens to have signed for the team that Lowe meets in the finals. Lowe runs off, finds it inside himself to fight and somehow becomes a snarling power-forward in two days, comes back for the final game, scores twice (including one slow-motion goal to equalise in the final ten seconds of the final game, in which he goes twice around the net without being hit once, even though he's been being abused the rest of the game), and then, five seconds later, is tripped by the headcase on a breakaway, and scores a penalty shot to win the title. Oh, and just to top it off, rather than celebrate the win of a national championship, he instead has a stick-fight with said head-case, and beats the crap out of him, before disappearing with the girlfriend. Who's the coach's daughter.
And Swayze was a massive part of it. As well as Dirty Dancing, Ghost, Point Break, Roadhouse and the best movie of the Cold War era, Red Dawn.
His death after a long fight with cancer is far too soon. R.I.P, Derek Sutton.
And, seamlessly linking to the weekend preview-let's use the best-known Youngblood quote to get things going...if you don't know which bit this is from, you need to broaden your knowledge of the culture of this great game, cause it's been shouted at rinks all over the world ever since the movie came out in 1986, and any true hockey fan knows exactly in which situation to use it...
"Ya wanna go, pretty boy?"
Hell yeah. It's preview time...here's your EIHL weekend...
DOUBLE HEADERS
Cardiff v Sheffield: Am I the only one thinking these two games could get a little feisty? After all, we all know what happened last season between these two teams, and the dust has barely settled from last weeks Battle of the Big Blue Tent in South Wales...you can bet that neither side will back down, so it wouldn't surprise me if on Monday morning we're speaking about a fair bit of controversy as Sheffield try to get themselves up and running and Cardiff try to keep the momentum ticking over...
SATURDAY
Hull v Edinburgh: Hey, the Capitals are here! Thanks for turning up, lads...fashionably late as always...but seriously, this game will be an interesting one for the entire league, being the first sight of Phase 3 of the Christensen Revolution. With players like Owen Fussey, nettie Cody Rudkowsky and Chris Allen all new to the UK and all highly-touted due to their pedigree, it'll be interesting to see just what happens against another team going through something of a revolution in the Stingrays...
Belfast v Coventry: Live on Giants TV if you can't make it over there, this is a game which the Blaze need to win, not only to get themselves going but also to calm their jittery fanbase down a little-Blaze fans as a whole panic early and are always llooking for ways to run their team down amongst themselves on forums, so the last thing you want to do is give them any ammunition...
Nottingham v Newcastle: Revenge is the key for the Panthers in this one, after losing up in Newcastle last week. But far more than that, a win will keep their excellent start to the season going, while one for the Vipers will make even more people sit up and take notice of the North-Easterners. Of course, if you're a neutral there's always the sub-plot of "can Matej Kralj keep his scoring run going" to keep you amused also...
SUNDAY
Coventry v Hull: Sylvain Cloutier returns to his old stomping ground, but if he leads his Stingrays team to a win, then the welcome will never be quite as warm again-particularly if the Pissed-Off Plaice have the same approach to winning friends and influencing people as they did in Cardiff. If the Blaze win, meanwhile, then even a loss against Belfast may be, if not forgiven, at least temporarily forgotten...
Edinburgh v Nottingham: The Caps open at home against the Panthers...two free-wheeling teams meet in a game which will show, even this early in the season, if the Scots have made another leap forward from last season, or whether they still have some work to do...
Newcastle v Belfast: The Vipers keep having to prove themselves too...Nottingham last weekend is followed by the Giants this weekend, with the Metro Radio Arena crowd hoping for the Vipers to be on the winning side again. Another four point weekend and we may have to start taking all Rob Wilson's pre-season rhetoric about a more skilful approach much more seriously. Meanwhile, if the Giants don't take at least two points from the weekend, it'll be something of a surprise-especially as their defensive unit is looking like it could be one of the better ones this season...
There's your weekend set out in full...now roll on Saturday and let's get on with the best two days of the hockey week...
Keep keeping your eye on the puck...
