Back to Hockey,...

At the request of Kid and no dount many others-we now return to the hockey...

With rosters finalised (or nearly so-Sheffield are now already looking askance at their roster given their definition of "team toughness" appears to be "let Ryan Finnerty get pounded into the ice every time he tries to stand up for ANOTHER team-mate smeared all over the plexi. Or feed Steve Munn raw meat and growth hormone until the season starts"...I never thought I'd say this but it appears the only time you're guaranteed NOT to see a fight at a game this season will be when the Steelers play the Panthers. The thing with that rivalry is that this could be the first season both sets of fans start whining that the referees don't protect them at the same time, and don't slag off the other) it's time to look at the one signing for each team thus far that has made me think "hmm...he could be worth watching on his own", or, to put it another way...if you HAD to go to a game based solely on wanting to see one player on the ice, this is who it would be in my case.

Basingstoke: Austin Sutter (F): You thought I'd pick Cornish, didn't you? He's just the comedy sideshow, though. Sutter is the one-a diamond in the rough from the CHL. And if you're sat there scoffing because he's an unknown from the Central Hockey League-well, a certain EIHL favourite called Adam Calder came from the same league, and he's not done too badly...

Belfast: Mike Burgoyne (D): Oh, pants. This guy is good. Neal Martin with three more inches and ten more lbs. 38 goals from the blue line in the last two seasons, and 116 points? In a tesm full of signings that make you go "hmmm...." (Cheverie, Howells, Deniset, Robins) the ex-OC Blazer still stands out. For comparison, in a similar-standard EIHL in the last two seasons, Neal Martin got himself 18 goals and 66 assists. Bolts from the Belfast blue-line ahoy...

Cardiff: Rod Hinks (C): Fast-skating, skilful, wily (at age 35) and proven quality in the EIHL after his stint with Newcastle. If they gel, Hinks and Silverthorn could be Carlson and Calder, with a Welsh accent. And don't forget the mountains of flesh on the Devils blue-line (Doug McIver especially) either...

Coventry: Sylvain Deschatelets (C/LW): I have a soft-spot for Deschatelets anyway, so I admit to a little bias. But this guy was the best player no-one noticed in the EIHL last year, by a long, long way. I haven't been this happy about a Blaze signing since...well, ever. He even just about trumps my joy on signing Curtis Huppe last season. And, considering I was widely considered to have a man-crush on the sharpshooting Manitoban while he was at Belfast, this is some feat.

Edinburgh: TBA: Let's be nice and say that, as yet, no-one they've signed has been "wow" good. Or close to it. About the nicest I can say is that if Taylor Christie doesn't make it in hockey, then he can always dress up in drag and become a troubled teen queen on the OC with a name like that...it even sounds like a character from Dawson's Creek or similar...

Hull: Rick Kozak: Unlike most of the club-wielding cavem...sorry, "physical" players who Strachan has signed this season, it appears Kozak has brains to go with his brawn. Goals appear when this guy's around, it seems. So does controversy, too. At least Hull, should they lose, will now go down fighting. Literally.

Manchester: David Beauregard (W): All you need to know about this gentleman is that in his last four pro-hockey seasons, he has scored 49, 41, 39 and 35 goals in the UHL. That's 164 goals, or 41 average a season. And 151 assists. That's average stats of 41+37. Pretty impressive, don't you think?

Then, bear this staggering fact in mind...he only has one eye! I defy you not to get excited by him now...

Newcastle: Tyler Willis (W): Chris McAllister has the brawn, Derek Campbell and Andre Payette have the mouth, but Willis, despite being the smallest of them all, has all three. And an AHL pedigree. If Danny Stewart (Blaze version) winds you up now, prepare to have a new target for pure hatred. Unless you're a Vipers fan, that is.

Nottingham: Bruce Richardson (C): Panthers fans-prepare to forget you ever thought Dan Tessier was the best centre you'd seen in a Panthers shirt in the EIHL era...

Sheffield: Nathan Gillies (C): Hm. Mike Peron, mark two. This is really, really not a bad thing. Especially if he has an equally ridiculous way of bouncing up and down when settling into face-offs. Or an irritating habit of scoring just when it would be most useful...

I accept this is relatively short, but with rosters finalised and less than a month to go to the start of the season, the countdown officially begins now...

Spinning Around

This is the last word on the PR debate so far this week-and for a while...the next post will go back to considering the hockey, including a quick breakdown of "best new signing" in the EIHL (one player allowed per team). But before that-and very quickly....

There has been much debate raised this week after my columns referring to all the PR suggestions etc and particularly "Right To Reply". You can definitely say that it was probably the most open attack on certain sections of the EIHL I've ever written, and occasioned a reaction from several clubs in the EIHL-most notably my own Coventry team in the person of Sally, with whom I've had extensive conversation via email and forum recently. Most of it is out there in public but some, for various reasons, isn't and won't be.

As as result of these and the comments she has left regarding my posts, I feel the need to state publicly that the Blaze have been nothing less than fully open in replying to my concerns/attacks aired both here and elsewhere. I am fully aware that them being my team hasn't meant they've got off lightly-in fact it's probably only Hull who've been more of a target-in their case due to the fact they were utterly dire on-ice and (in many Stingray fans' opinion) on the bench last season...

Anyway-simply put (and this may cause some of those from Coventry who read to fall over in astonishment)-I'm just putting on record that the highest praise is due to Sally and the Blaze in general for the way they've responded-I've gone after them with a will in the past but have to give full public credit here...if all clubs were willing to do the same with their fans (I'm talking to you, Nottingham in particular) then the hockey community would be far better.

(This doesn't mean they have a free pass now-but it's only fair to acknowledge when someone does something well, in the interests of a balanced blog)

Right. Serious bit over. Now back to taking the mickey out of Brad Voth's haircut, and ordering my Deschatelets replica...:)

Keep keeping your eye on the puck, people. Now we get back to the hockey!

Right To Reply...Reader's Edition. Plus a link or two.

Just to follow up on the "PR People must Die" epic-my single most commented-upon post with the princely total of four, by the way...a link/idea or two which are related..

Dan at Four Point Four Seconds laments the missed opportunities of EIHL playoff weekend...

Becky's reply to "PR People Must Die (read it in full by clicking on the comments tab below the post) contains this interesting statistic: a rough breakdown of season-ticket holders at the Phoenix which shows that families are not the biggest audience by a long way. In fact, she works out (taking u16's and 20-50 year olds as the groups most representative of a "family" that only a quarter of the audience can be considered that way, with 41% being in their late teens or (if we take half of the 20-30 age group as unmarrieds without children, nearly half of the crowd being in the 16-25 age group. Which begs the question, as Becky asks "why the obssession with families?" Doubtless someone will claim that the Phoenix are atypical, but let's be honest, if you go round the rinks of the UK nowadays, the phrase "wow, this crowd is full of families sat together" never enters your head. The only thing I can think of is that families are targeted mainly because they're the ones that have the most "pester power", and clubs find it better economically to have a thousand families who will spend 50 quid a season (often much more) on merchandise than 2000 young people who may only spend a tenner each.

Remember, these are not figures I've made up, but official figures used by the Manchester Phoenix in order to show their sponsors. So-the question is-why are clubs concentrating on a quarter of their market rather than nearly half-especially when those families are arguably going to come anyway?

Merchandise Mayhem: It has been said that I'm willing to criticise, but not come up with ideas. Well, OK then...leaving the in-game atmosphere/music etc well alone-here's a brief blueprint for the EIHL clubs:

Fan events are great-but they don't get newbies in. Advertising does that. As Dan says on Four Point Four Seconds, make your team a permanent presence. Forget the odd "Club x supports Council Initiative Y" PR's, laudable though they may be. They give a positive image but don't make people wonder "wow, what's that?". Posters on bus shelters or in town centres do, or. memorably, the huge picture of Johnathan Phillips which used to be draped over the side of the WNIR with "Home of Devils Hockey" or some such underneath it. Stands at season's beginning in the City Center, stalls at markets or fairs (eg Coventry's Godiva Festival) , and even people handing out free tickets in the City Centre-that works. Tie-ups with other local sports (you plug us, we'll plug you". Ticket deals with them. Deals at places where young people go-clubs and the like. Yes, it may mean that there's a little less champagne at the end of season do, but boy, do they work...and there's enough passionate people out there to staff the stands.
Radio ads. Expensive but they work-and don't just use city stations, use regional ones. Speculate to accumulate....

Then there's the shirts. Make them mean something-if you want more than just a home and away kit forget "Christmas" shirts or "Halloween" shirts. Retro (alternate) shirts are the way to go-you simply put in a league rule that you wear them (home and away) for half the games. games, home and away. You don't even have to have both teams wearing at the same time as long as the colours don't clash. All the teams in the EIHL have enough history to appeal to the nostalgia of longtime fans and the pockets of new ones, simply because the shirts are different. Then there's the extra money from those who have it to burn at the shirt auctions-as well as giving more people to own a (well-worn) gamer of their favourite player...

Basingstoke: Beavers design
Belfast: (possibly the dodgiest, but the first-season shirt, maybe)
Cardiff: (Rhapsody in Red)
Coventry: Solihull Blaze-all you need is to remove the "Coventry" from above the dragon. Imagine Adam Calder in this beauty.
Edinburgh: Murrayfield Racers. Enough said...
Hull: Humberside Seahawks. Kingston Jets. Hull Thunder. One of the most storied teams in British hockey? Spoilt for choice there...
Manchester: Return of the Storm!
Nottingham: 60 years? There's a shirt in there somewhere....
Newcastle: Cobras. Riverkings, Jesters. Even (dare I mention it) the Durham Wasps...tell me THOSE shirts wouldn't sell in the North East.
Sheffield: Jody Lehman wearing this? Squint and Nathan Gillies could be Ken Priestlay...

There you go-you combine nostalgia AND a nod to the past-and it means that some of the great teams in British hockey will return to the ice-at least in shirt form. It works in the NHL, so why not here?

We will return to on-ice matters soon...I promise..:)

Right to Reply....

It seems my last post has ruffled feathers at the Blaze, with people there accusing me of not responding to them but simply continuing to attack them on here, even though an email was sent twice AND a PM was sent on the Elite forum advising them of the fact. So I shall now put it on the blog for all to see, in a straight open letter, as an example of the club's side of the story when it comes to such things. Italics are the club email, responses are mine from the email that was sent...if this doesn't get seen, there's no hope for the Internet...

Hi,
Be warned-essay coming up. The character limit on the EIHL forum would have meant this message would have been several parts long, so I thought an email would be easier...There has been a lot of thought put into this reply and I shall be as honest as possible as that is one thing you've always been with me...

If there was indeed no dig in that post then I do apologise. However in a world where posts tend to be peppered with digs about the club or me where we are either "ramming down throats" or guilty of spin (even when what we're putting out is actually true) I do tend to believe there is a dig in most of them

Thanks-and fair enough-I get my fair share of digs from people too based on third-hand opinions of stuff that happenened a long time ago, and it winds me up the same way. There genuinely was and never has been no personal digs at you or anyone else within the club-as far as I'm concerned you do the best job you can (and I include everyone behind the cluib in this) and while I may (quite often) disagree with you on the best way to put on a hockey night, I don't dispute the effort put in by anyone either behind the scenes or on the matchinight team-I've seen it first-hand, remember..

Defending myself, the club and the unbelievable amount of hard work we do trying to please as many people as possible is, in my opinion, in fact not boring but my right to not have untruths, fiction and third hand rumours bandied about.

Hey-it happened to me-you should have heard some of the stuff I was told as fact. Did you know you were going to sue me for libel (after I pointed out on forums afte the much-ballyhooed Theo Fleury incident at the Skydome in 2006), I've got contacts in the Canadian press I used on purpose, and I openly threatened you with violence after a game? All things people have said I've done...

I genuinely wouldn't mind if you had any facts or reason for what you're talking about with regard to many of the things you comment on or believe. Despite the things you've had issues with in the past, that I have sat down, explained point by point why things are the way they are you still choose to not believe what i'm saying

I don't necessarily not believe it-I just question it-particularly as I'm getting told different things by people I'm friends with who've done things for the club in the past (and still do in various roles)-and the common theme is that there is a lot more emphasis on the commercial side of things then the hockey. Especially as I do firmly believe that the success over the past few seasons has meant that the atmosphere at the hockey has changed for the worse. Certainly it's not as fun for me even as 04/05

I have sat and listened to the opinions of more fans that I think you will ever believe and I have tried my damndest to please as many people as possible.

That I do not doubt. However, this was the case also in 04/05 and people still constantly mention that as the best year for atmosphere, music etc-and that year I will freely admit that I simply did my own thing up there-there was never any need to nick stuff from other teams, come up with gimmicks or whatever else-so I wonder if, as soon as people become aware that they're trying to please everyone and actively do so, the whole enjoyment goes out of it and it [I]does [/I] all seem forced-as I and seemingly others feel now. The fact that the sample on a forum of Blaze fans of all ages have gone for rock must count for something, however small it is-maybe it's time to stop trying so hard to please everyone through the presentation, just go for rock and let the game speak for itself-that's what I did....

We've tried to do more fan events, more stuff for kids, more season ticket benefits (launching monday) easier ways of booking tickets, different music (see other thread) gamenight ideas and a hundred other things that people have an opinion on.

And you'll notice that I've not been critical of them-I personally don't attend most of them through choice but I don't deny that they are much enjoyed by those that do...

When asked what people want to see on matchnights and people suggested player songs and dances etc you accused us of being "too choregraphed"

Only because they're now made up (this is a problem at several teams) or it's "quick, let's play a player's song/Fratellis after every goal"-or it's being initiated by the club rather than organically-e.g shouting of the players surnames at goals. I first saw this in Cologne and what was noticeable there was that there was no "when I say this, you shout" in it-it was something the fans had developed themselves.
What exactly do you want me to do. Play every single of your choices of songs.

That would be nice. But I'm fully aware it isn't going to happen. What I would say though (and again, this is coming from my experience up there) is that if you're doing the job you don't want to be feel restricted (as I did occasionally, but then, being a stubborn sod nine times out of ten I just stuck stuff on anyway)-tell James on Thursday "look-forget getting the crowd involved, forget not playing something because it's too cheesy or too heavy, forget creating an intro people can clap along to-just pick songs you like. Pick stuff that SOUNDS like it belongs at a hockey game". God knows he's got enough knowledge of hockey culture and enough experience doing the job to know what goes where. That's all I did-played songs I liked or thought belonged, when I liked. And hopefully you'll agree it worked pretty well.

[quote]Get rid of MOTD (even though we had lots of emails asking us to sotp playing music so they could do that - so we listened and thought we would try it) get rid of Fratellis - which was exactly what we wanted it to be when it started - a spontaneous pee-take at Panthers expense.[/quote]

Yes. Not because they weren't good, but because they've gone on too long-the moment's passed. It's stale.

[quote]And come up with new things - wouldn;t that make a matchnight "too choreographed" wouldn't we then be "ramming it down peoples throats" to do certain things at certain times?[/quote]

Play new songs. You don't have to come up with the dances etc. We never had to. And for hell's sake don't borrow from other teams even if it does work...that robs the Blaze of a unique identity. [quote]We're just asking for suggestions and people to start doing silly things. If people have ideas they think will work and ask us to stick a song on the box to give it a whirl of course we'll try it...whether it looks choreographed or not. Our fans have asked for it and we've listened.[/quote]

Honest opinion-no dig at you personally...It doesn't feel like it-at least musically. It feels like there's a lack of willingness to try anything risky or non-mainstream now in case it offends Mr and Mrs Smith and their kids in row C who've got used to the same songs in the same order. Even the goal song is years old, for heck's sake...

[quote]Something I really do try and spend time doing. Yet I don't think whatever I do or try and do it will be rignt with you.[/quote]

Honest question-does my opinion matter that much to you? Especially as you've clearly built up a view of me which goes contrary to everything you experienced in 04/05, based on one argument and me being portrayed as Public Enemy Number one and personally attacked on forums by people who don't know me from Adam-I have offered on many occasions to still be helpful but if even someone you've worked with and knows otherwise is attcking you and calling you bitter and negative in a public forum you tend to take it the wrong way. That hurt far more than you or anyone else realises. And so does the crap from people on the forum who've never me before also relying on third-hand rumours and stuff that happened four years ago...Especially as I don't think I've ever resorted to open personal attacks on any member of the organisation. I may have had a go at some of the changes or some of the press releases because I disagree with either the tone or the way things were handled (the fallout of the Fleury incident being one, the Challenge Cup controversy last season where the organisation went publicly after the Elite League etc beign another)... If I had, maybe I could understand some of the vitriol....If I don't like a song or a period-break entertainment I might go "oh, God" around my friends, but I'm still there watching the hockey, the 15 quid is still going into the coffers, and I still cheer when Blaze score.

[quote]Ask for suggestions because people want more rock - worked quite well, got lots of ideas.[/quote]

Fair point.

[quote]People start suggesting clappy songs, audience participation songs so we'll look at them.[/quote]

Fair point. But if I could give one thing for you to change it would be "tell the matchnight crew to stop trying to please everyone, stop focusing so much on keeping a crowd happy and concentrate on creating a proper hockey night-full-on rock and all. It works for the NHL...[quote]As I do not know from one day to the next what is the right thing to do according to you.[/QUOTE]

Again-honest question-does it matter that much to you what I think? Or at least any more than the other 2,500 people?

There we go-just to prove that I'm not just one to sit on a blog and take pot-shots...

Tomorrow, we go back to discussing the hockey with Vipers making a massive signing in Tyler Willis....

Keep keeping your eye on the puck...

PR People Must Die

I'm going to begin this post with a little story. Settle down, children, and listen to wise old Uncle Paul.

Back in the mists of time, when I was a young lad obsessed with football and still smarting from the horrors of Euro 2000 and England's capitulation to Rumania, a friend of mine invited me to come and see this wonderful American sport called ice-hockey, which took place at the brand-spanking new ice rink that had just gone up in Coventry city centre. Back in those days it was a place where only a few hard souls watched players with names like Chartrand and Millie, and the ISL title had a young upstart team from Belfast chasing it. It was so long ago, kiddies, that Steve Moria was only 39 and Tony Hand was but a stripling at 33, and both were playing in a long-forgotten league called the ISL...

Anyway-when I walked in through the doors I was hooked-mainly because this was the first sporting event I'd been to where it was considered acceptable to play rock music during play. And because of the glorious anarchy of the thing-people messed about in the stands shouting at the players, there were fights, and the whole presentation looked like it was being made up on the spot and actually trying to be itself rather than something for everyone. It felt different.

For the next few years, as my team won things, I learned more about the sport, began to play it and fell out of love with football, it remained unchanged. This sport was cheap but not nasty, big but not driven by money (well, at least not commercially) and you got the feeling that things would stay the same....

Enter the evil dragon known as PR, followed by its twin, commercialism. Suddenly, the marketing men got their hands on things as clubs decided to stop doing what had worked for them up until now and decided that they wanted families through the doors. After all, they have the most spending power...

And now we are in a world created by demographics, spreadsheets, people who see the bottom line before they see the game itself, and people who talk in terms of "guaranteed income" and "merchandise". A world where we get six different kits a season so three can be marketed-a world where every night seems the same as every other sporting event/kids party. A world where the product on the ice may be as good, but it's being neutered by the cookie-cutter presentation off it. The otherness of hockey has dropped as the prices have risen...costs go up as the USP of hockey (its rawness-its aggression, and the fact that it seemed proud to be different in all areas) have fallen away, drowning in a whirl of account spreadsheets, marketing figures, and "fan initiatives" which often funnel more money in and prey on the mind with a "if you really support the club, then come join us for this" message.

And who can we blame for this? Certainly not the matchnight volunteers who work hard making sure the lights go on, the music plays and the mascots dance-they're working as hard as ever. But they're being driven not by their passion for the sport, but by the constant whisper from the marketing department..."if we play it safe, be like everyone else, and appeal to everyone, we can't go wrong".

Sorry. But this writer thinks you can. And if you read the forums, he isn't alone. One of the main complaints at most clubs when it comes to the management is "the sterile atmosphere-the kid's partiness of matchnights."

The fun is being slowly sucked out of hockey-the defence that "people like it the way it is" is built on people new to the sport who have never seen the old WNIR rocking to heavy metal and stamping feet, heard the roar at a packed Steelers'/Panther's derby or experienced a BNL-era Blaze away coach trip. In trying to please newbies by making hockey just like everything else, hockey teams are risking losing the very thing that attracted their crowd to the sport in the first place.

Yes, I admit that the title is sensationalist-I am not actually advocating murder. Nor am I saying that these marketing people don't work hard. Because they do. I know-I've worked with them. They are arguably some of the most passionate people you'll meet. Trouble is, when it comes to the selling of their sport, the head comes first in their thinking, rather than the heart. What I am saying is maybe, just maybe, they're aiming their efforts ever so slightly off target.

I've been the one playing the music on a matchnight-and had the friction with those who supposedly "knew" how they wanted things to sound, because all I ever did while up there was play stuff I thought fitted-stuff that had been the norm over the speakers when I started watching the game. When I started watching, continued to watch and then played the music myself, a hockey night didn't have all the inflatable hands/twenty different hoodies at the concession stand/a big merchandise stand selling tat at every rink. You got the shirt raffle, a fifty-fifty draw, a replica shirt if you were lucky, and that was it. As for the music-it was rock, and it was loud-it was unashamedly different, and there were moments when a fair few people in the crowd probably couldn't have "named that tune" or claimed it to be mainstream entertainment if you'd put a gun to their head. And it certainly didn't please all the people all of the time. Sometimes, considerably less.

But here's the thing that maybe the PR people don't want to hear. It worked. And the crowds kept rising even though the prices did.

Now? Now we have "family tickets", "flex packages", a nice mix of music that even Grandma can't find offensive, merchandise coming out the tailpipe, and everyone tries to emphasise the "family sport" aspect in every possible way.

Trouble is, now people complain the sport is business-oriented, the atmosphere has dropped, and watching just isn't fun. Funny, that, ain't it?

Well, you used to see families back then, too-and they loved it then even if the seats were slightly uncomfortable or the music was a bit heavier then Mum, Grandma or little Ellie in the pushchair had heard before and you could only buy one or two types of ticket-standing or seating. Because it was different.

Now, thanks to the PR people deciding they need to appeal to everyone, the very thing that set hockey apart is dying. And no amount of flex-ticket packages, "meet the players" nights, etc, can compensate.

Be brave, people. Stand up for old-time hockey. Clubs-play the music loud, throw away the "High School Musical for the kids" CD, and forget the club-themed underwear-spend the money on some classic hockey rock or making the replica shirts cheaper instead. Or better still, on getting people through the doors through posters, radio ads, free tickets given away on the day of the game, or the day before in city centres And forget trying to influence the crowd to clap along. If the game is going well, the crowd are allowed to shout, the rock music is pumping and the magic of the hockey night is allowed to flourish, then once people are through the doors (as they will be if ticket prices are kept reasonable and not allowed to rise year on year) they'll be hooked. Just like I was.

Go on. Dare to be different.

After all-that's what hooked me...

Hotch-Potch Hockey

Be warned. If you're expecting an erudite analysis of Manchester signing Bruce Mulherin as their centre (he looks like a very good 2nd line two-way centre) or Edinburgh signing Joe Dustin (described brilliantly on Four Point Four Seconds as "screaming mediocrity") then I would look elsewhere-it appears the heat has gone to my head as I jump around British hockey to begin the weekend...

A Change is Gonna Come: Sam Cooke probably wouldn't approve of the title of his gospel masterpiece being used to introduce a discussion of why stuff like this is what you play at hockey, but hey.

Regular readers of this blog will know about my constant championing of the marriage of hockey and rock, and scorn at desperately trying to suck people in by playing mainstream pop etc. I was fairly scathing about my own club as far as this goes...

Well, it seems the revolution has begun... (long thread, but all you need is to bear in mind that the club asked for music suggestions, and these are the replies-just take a few posts and you will get the flavour...:)

I think there's maybe ten songs out of a few hundred that ain't rock to the nth degree. And that's the way it should be.

Ticket Price Torment: A little strong, perhaps, but Becky has followed up her mini essay responding to my swipe at Manchester's tickets below with an even better one on Five Minute Major-there isn't any way I could do it justice in summary so click on the blog title on the right to read it...

If you want an emotional connection, watch Grey's Anatomy: Interestingly, my open letter to Dan Tessier (well, more of a rant on the emphasis on "team guys" by fans as a reason for signing a player rather than ability) has generated a comment from a Panthers fan which I reproduce below:

Good comment about Tessier Paul, as a Panthers fan I don't particularly like the guy, and will gladly boo him all game long, but I'd still be happy to see him return to us. Brings great quality at this level.

This raises a question in my mind. Should we, as fans, really care what a person is like as long as he does the business on the ice-or is this something born out of the much closer contact between players and fans in the UK? I'm not sure beacuase I'm not really one to try chasing the players around to have contact with them off the ice like some fans (of both sexes)-personally I couldn't care less about their personal lives or what they're like with their team-mates unless it directly affects me. And even then, only as long as it does so.

However, it seems that, to be successful in British hockey (or at least popular with your public) you not only have to be good on the ice but also be constantly available off it, for whatever people want to do with you.

Personally, if Blaze sign a hot-shot centre/winger who'll score a hundred goals a season but is a surly sod who avoids all contact with fans and barely speaks to his team-mates, I'd be happy-because I don't pay my 15 quid a week to hang around with a bunch of Canadians or talk about just who our star right-winger is playing tonsil-hockey with this week-I pay to be entertained by top-quality hockey. Which is why I agree whole-heartedly with the Panther fan's comment and wish more people would take his/her view-I too have come to the conclusion over time that, you don't have to particularly like a person to appreciate their skill.

Basically, what I'm saying to all those people who will say "I don't like that player as a person or because people have said he's a bit of an arsehole when you ask for an autograph, so I think he's utterly crap"....just shut up whining and watch the game. And don't get emotionally attached, because the fact of the game in Britain is most times-people move on very quickly.

(Of course, if they're a surly sod who are clearly not doing the job sufficiently well on the ice either, then all bets are off) :)


That's all for now-keep keeping your eye on the puck...

With Teeth...or an Open Letter to Dan Tessier

(Warning: this post may contain a naughty word or two. Nothing too bad but probably best you don't read it out in church):

I know it's been a little while since I've posted on here (two weeks, in fact) and in that time Belfast have completed their roster, or near as dammit, Sheffield have completed theirs, and Coventry have lost their inspirational captain Sylvain Cloutier. We'll get to the third of these three in a minute, but first fairness compels me to consider the fact that a club in the UK are now charging £17 to watch their games-and it isn't Coventry!

Thank you, Manchester...I spend most of November praising your efforts and then you go and raise ticket prices to seventeen pounds for walkups. Has anyone told them we're currently in a credit crunch? Come to that, has anyone told any of the Elite teams? Or the EPL?

In Manchester's favour, it will still (relatively) cost about the same for families thanks to a chop in the kids prices-but even so...how many away fans can say now they'll definitely make all three league trips to Manchester (another way of saving money for the walk-ups).
The real tragedy of this is that there are some very good rosters being built this season (including in Manchester)-but with economics being the way they are, there may well be fewer people to watch them...

Newcastle get a big Mac: And for once, there's not a topless football fan in sight. Chris McAllister is back in the UK-all 6'7 of him. Maybe Hull won't have it all their own way. This monster can play too...

Plug of the Week: Given that I always keep an eye out for newbies in the hockey blogosphere (apart from the Snowplough-which was good when it got Carlyle Lewis coming to the Blaze right (after me, by the way) but not great since then, I recommend that this week, as well as all on the blogroll at left, you add Four Point Four Seconds to your trawl through the blog world. Yes, it's by a Panthers fan, and thus may contain some anti-Sheffield/Coventry/refereeness but it's ruddy good thus far, and another quality addition to the expanding world of UK hockey blogs...

Let's see-we now have Edinburgh, Coventry, Belfast, Manchester, Hull, and Nottingham covered, plus the EPL...four more teams and the (EIHL and EPL) scene is well and truly covered. Plus the Ice Hockey Annual blog (link to follow)

Where's Sylvain Cloutier-gone to the U.S.A: Apologies to Panthers fans for nicking their song, but come on...you grinned...and predictably, there is an outbreak of holier-than-thou-ness on the hockey forums when Dan Tessier is mentioned as his replacement, with many (Blaze fans in particular) saying that they wouldn't inmediately sign Dan Tessier-who was rumoured to be coming in as injury cover in January, let's not forget. It seems to be one of the few things you can get Nottingham and Coventry fans to agree on. And I have three (one slightly naughty) words to anybody who is seriously letting this "oh, he's a bit of a loner (to put it politely)" image cloud their view of him or any other similar player. And also to the whole "you need to be a nice guy to be an important part of a team-everyone has to have chemistry with everyone else".

Bollocks to it.

Dan Tessier scores goals. And sets them up. Very frequently indeed. Now, I accept that. if the reports are true, he is not the easiest guy to get on with. I also accept every team (supposedly) needs everyone to get on to do well (although I'm suspicious of that "truth" since we as hockey fans likely wouldn't give two flying pucks if there were bare-knuckle fights in the dressing room if our team was winning on the ice-have you never seen Slapshot and such like? There's so much stuff in the press about it that "he's a good team guy" is now a phrase used to excuse all manner of inability or shortcoming on the rink-people make decent, well-paid careers out of being "good team guys" with relatively little hockey ability, even in the NHL, for God's sake).

Games aren't won by "which team gets on the best" though. They're won by "who scores the most goals". And with Dan Tessier or someone like him in your side you will more often than not score more than the opposition. Which means trophies, wins, and everyone conveniently forgetting that someone isn't Mother Teresa. Quite frankly, were I a coach who had 20 players who never spoke to each other apart from training and games (when they played like they'd shared the ice with the other 19 all their lives) because they despise each other and was called on it, my first reply would be "hey-they win."

For this to come from Blaze and Panthers fans in particular is particularly rich-Panthers were the ones who brought Tess to the UK in the first place (and loved him until he left) and Blaze fans forgave the excesses of Andre Payette=who had at least one bare-knuckle training fight-oh, and offered out a team-mate (Doug Schueller) during a game. But Blaze won the treble, he was a major reason Dan Carlson and Adam Calder had the space to play (without a similar player they'd be checked into next week by legal and illegal means) and so these same people talking about Tessier's character flaws can, in the same breath, defend similar from a player who won them games.

So, Tess, as long as you keep being one of the best centres ever to play in the EIHL, bollocks to the doom-mongers or the people who will turn down someone unless they hug kittens, get on with everyone and are GOOD TEAM GUYS. I will join every other fan in the league with an import slot still open in whispering, even if they will never admit it...

"come and play for the team I support. Please?"

Irresistable Force v Immovable Object...

You may notice a slight change to the layout here-that's because I've added a blogroll-a wonderful little thing which allows you to see all the blogs that I have a read of on a regular basis. It also saves me putting a link to them every time I refer to something written-you can simply click on the relevant blog in the Recommended Reading menu on the right-hand-side. Anything to make your visit to the Breakaway more user-friendly...


That's the starter dealt with-now onto the main dish of the day...


The Elite League appears to be getting bigger. Not in terms of exposure (we wish, although there were some strides made last season) but in terms of simple size. Hull have signed their latest meathead in Rick Kozak, a 6'3, 225lb forward who should make for a few bruises if you're an Elite League defenceman next season. Cardiff's last two signings have been 6'6 and 6'3, both well over 200lbs (Doug MacIver in particular looks, well, intimidating) and even Bracknell are getting into the act by attempting to sign well-known human irritant Jeff Hutchins away from the EIHL.


Teams all over the place are trumpeting the need for "team toughness" and fans are licking their lips at the prospect of gloves hitting ice on a nightly basis in rinks around the country. But I can't help feeling that all this hoo-ha over toughness is somewhat missing the point.


Power alone doesn't win games. In fact, I would argue that it's far less a component of the game of hockey then speed and skill-after all, you can be big and powerful, but if you can't get near any of the opposition to use it, it doesn't help much.


This is why the Blaze's signing of Carlyle Lewis and the Phoenix signing Grant Jacobsen are so interesting, and why many hockey fans have been singing the praises of Steve Munn when he plays for Sheffield-these three are tough, powerful lads who have proved they can play a bit too. It's all very well fight fans getting excited about two teams of 6'5, 250lb monsters lumbering around the ice trying to smash each other into oblivion, but if your team wins five fights and doesn't score and the other team doesn't win any but scores one thanks to their 5'7 quicksilver sniper evading the crush for one second in a game to score, then who comes off better?

The EIHL Credit Crunch: I know the above isn't really the greatest post for nearly two weeks of a gap, but the trouble with the off-season now is that most of the exciting stuff has happened. Sheffield have completed their roster (well, the imports anyway) all the big Brits are settled in, and Colin Hemingway is the biggest remaining name out there. Now we're into the intriguing stage of the pre-season, where players slot in and the big signings, not necessarily in terms of reputation but in terms of "players that are vital to winning a championship" in a lot of cases, are made.

Certainly a running theme this off-season has been the big tightening of belts, with most teams (Belfast excepted) tightening the purse-strings massively with re-signings or holding out for quality rather than quantity when it comes to Brits.

Which is why Russ Cowley still being on the market surprises me hugely. Sure, you can believe the Blaze PR's about Cowley over-valuing himself, or you can believe sources close to the player saying that the Blaze treated him shabbily. But given that the Blaze have just signed Barrie Moore (who may be a wily veteran but is surely now on the downslope of his career and trading on one superb British season now that his best friend Neal Martin has left), surely the "wants too much money" defence doesn't hold up if you're then going to pay an import similar money to sit on the third line. Especially when you bear in mind that (and I am quoting the most often-quoted defences from Blaze fans for this move here) "couldn't hit a barn door/selfish" Cowley scored the same number of goals and seven more assists than "great team player/wicked goalscorer" Moore. Assuming the money is roughly the same, who would you take?

Now that Cowley is rumoured to be on his way back to Coventry, doubtless this will be hailed as another "great piece of negotiation". It's not. It's pure luck and a missed opportunity by the other nine teams in the EIHL to sign a Brit who is yet to peak and would have some serious fire in his belly. Instead he'll be left to yoyo between the Blaze's second and third lines and wither on the vine rather than being given the chance to elevate his game to the next level...

And that, from the GB head coach and a team who have trumpeted their pride in British talent long and loud but now ice only one young Brit (in Joe Henry) having released prospects James Archer, Tom Carlon, and James Cooke in the past few years, is a little sad.

Keep keeping your eye on the puck...

Sticks and Stones...

Yes, I know this was going to be the breakdown of each team up until now (if you're interested, I think the Blaze look pretty much as strong as last year, they'll need padded boards around the Stingrays bench if they keep going the way they are thanks to Rick Strachan's "give a mentalist a job" policy, and Giants look very threatening. As for the others-much of a muchness, although the signing of Grant Jacobsen for the Phoenix stands out-this guy is a BIG lad pounding up the middle and means that Scott Kelman may have some competition for "battering-ram centre" honours in the league this seaosn.

Rounding up the best of the hockey blogs postings first of all: the Firestorm does what many have tried and failed to do and explains yet another EIHA change to the format of one of their leagues, and Five Minute Major goes down memory lane and also provides a decent scouting resource if you're curious about any of their new signings. I'm looking forward to the Mika Skytta reminiscence, though, because someone down here who claimed to know Finnish told me his name was pronounced "scutter"-which is a not-very-nice Coventry word for a, shall we say, "woman of ill repute". Oh, hilarity ensued every time we faced the Phoenix in that season-and because of the above not all of it was caused by Jayme Platt's goaltending...

Anyway-on to the story which has taken my eye the most this week-the frankly spectacular cat-fight taking place between Dan Tessier and the Sheffield Steelers, and being gleefully reported in the Sheffield Star-for your edification, a brief summary with links to the articles-which all started when it was announced that the speedy little centre with an ego the size of Winnipeg (if you believe his detractors) was released a month or so ago by Sheffield.

Meow!: Tessier lets rip to open hostilities. And then comes back for more.

"Knifed in the back"? Isn't that a similar term to the one Panthers fans use when describing his departure for Geneva the first time around? Perhaps if he'd asked slightly less wages from the Blaze in January, the two-quid-a-week extra ticket prices at the Skydome could be used to help heal the wound, funnelled into his pockets.

Hiss!: Steelers reply. Also known as "a fifth defenceman seixing the chance to get himself an article to himself in the local rag and let frustrations out on a better player". Hand me the popcorn...:)

Panic!: Damage control begins as the fans of Sheffield slowly begin to realise that their team has let one of the top-five players of the Elite League era go for a song only months after praising him to the heavens.

You really couldn't make it up, could you?

Here's the funniest part, however-look at the forums and observe all the "holier than thou" postings from fans of other teams (notably Panthers and Blaze, who as rivals will be revelling in this), with the main theme being "we'd never sign a player like that-he's good but now he's gone, and we'd never want him at our club".

I'm sorry, people...but that's an example of grade A, 100% pure male cow faeces from every single one of you.

I'm going to go against the sermonising crowd here and say that, were I a coach, I would take someone like Dan Tessier in a heartbeat. He saved the Steelers season last time out (in fact, he's done it twice) plus he, when all's said and done, is the best purely offensive centre (with the possible exception of Mark Smith) the Elite League has ever seen. If you'd asked anybody who watched British hockey regularly which player was the Steelers' biggest threat to their team, they'd have said Tess-he can create, he can score, and he can win games by himself. Sure, he may be aware of it, but what sportsman isn't?

I really do hope Tess stays in the EIHL-just to watch the U-turn by whichever teams' fans sign him as the points start racking up. It'll make a hairpin look like a sweeping bend, and will bring a smile to my face with every "well, we didn't like him, but now he plays for us so he's fantastic" post I read...

And on that note...keep keeping your eye on the puck...

Sound and Fury

"...for what are these, except tales
Told by an idiot. Full of sound and fury
Yet signifying nothing"

William Shakespeare: Macbeth

He was a prescient bloke, was William Shakespeare. Sure, the doomed Scottish king quoted above may have been talking about life in all its glory rather than the world of hockey forums, but those four-hundred-and-something year-old words could just as easily apply to the average day on THF or any fan forum on the internet as to the last musings on life of a king haunted by the lies of three witches...

Let me explain before I lose you completely. And possibly defend myself a little, before we sink so far into literary allusions and metaphors that this post literally disappears up its own five-hole.

Hockey forums are the bane of my life-yet at the same time they're some of the most compelling places to spend some time. All hockey-fan life is here, from the cynical lifelong fans to the club apologists (and my God, have you seen some of those if you've ever hung around a Blaze forum) to the people who will flog a dead horse (usually Brit-quota related) until the bones of their argument have literally crumbled to dust, to the people who think that they're hockey sages just because they once stood next to the kitman's wife in a pub.

Seriously-just have a read through them sometime. Stuff that you would laugh out loud at if someone said it in a rink is dissected as fact, arguments flare like wildfire, and just occasionally you get someone connected with a club sticking their oar in and either fanning the flames or coming over all haughty whenever that amazing new signing is hinted at thanks to sources which range from the player themselves to a drunken bloke in the chip-shop opposite the rink.

Sounds laughable, doesn't it? And yet hockey forums are truly wonderful things. They provide one of the few places on the planet where British hockey fans can talk about their sport with other British hockey fans, form friendships, laugh, cry, and air their views with almost no fear of repercussion (unless you're stupid enough to use your own name, as I can attest to). Players can be torn to shreds by some 13-year-old kid who's only seen one game in his life, they can be built up purely on the basis on one moment, and as for the mob-mentality you get from these things-Andrew Sharp will get a job in British hockey based almost solely on how notorious he has become on these virtual soapbox derbies (come on, Romford fans-surely you're not telling me it's based on ability)...

And yet, essentially, every single word on a hockey forum is unimportant. It's an opinion. And this is something that appears to have been forgotten as the status of hockey in the UK has grown from utterly un-noticed to "do they play that here?", peaked briefly in the early to mid 90's and then dropped away again, with some people getting more than unnecessarily het up by either their status on a forum or even quoting an opinion post on them as a reliable source. Hockey forums, or at least some of the people who frequent them, just might be taking themselves a little too seriously and spending more time reading about this beautiful game of ours and trying to build up street-cred on them then actually watching the game they're talking about in the first place. Examples from the past season...

Every time Andrew Sharp sneezed, there seemed to be an eight-page thread on a forum somewhere split between those who loved him and those who thought he was the Antichrist. Same with Brad Voth. It's a game, people...if you spent more time watching it then pontificating about how you thought it should be played then maybe your posts would be worth reading.

I fully except that I may be shooting myself in the foot in the eyes of some people-especially as I'm using a blog to tell you this-and most of the stuff written on here is purely my own opinion. The difference between me and some of the people who are making forums such a drag nowadays is: I don't expect you, the reader, to agree with me. It would be nice if you did, but if you don't, and you let me know, then so be it. And that is the attitude which seems to be slowly disappearing among hockey fans today, manifested by the change in Internet forums. And so now we come to the point of my post...

Hockey fans are a great bunch of people, in the main. I've become acquainted with many in my time watching, either in person or as a name on a forum or an email thanks to this blog. Sadly, there is a growing element at some teams who hold the attitude I've criticised early in this column-and that attitude is harming all of us. There's been much discussion recently about how clubs can move forward and promote the sport, and I've written at length on here about the need for clubs to constantly listen to what their fanbases are actually saying, get them involved and cease simply talking the talk about being "family clubs" as some are doing at the moment while jacking up ticket prices and adopting an attitude of "rake in the money and sod the experience". Trouble is, the attitude of some on the forums (and indeed some of the rubbish poseted) is ginving them a loophole to use-if asked why they don't listen to the fans, they can simply say "well, look at the forums-no-one knows anything but they'll still shout away".

What the sport needs is more people who are knowledgeable about the game, knowledgeable about their team, passionate about it, but willing to listen to other's opinions (and I include myself in that, so feel free to disagree with anything in this post via the comment button or the email address on the right, and I'll happily debate it with you). Judging by the forums and the spreading number of British hockey blogs out there (all of which are of very high quality indeed, particularly Five Minute Major, the F Block Blog, and the longest running of them (and the original inspiration for this one) Check to the Head, as well as the Firestorm Blog in the EPL as a promising addition), there are enough people ou there to really foster the spirit of debate on forums-hopefully this will spread and sifting through places such as the Elite Forum will become a pleasure again rather than a chore. But either way, forums are still great entertainment...

Moving on now-I've decided that rather than document teams signing by signing, the next post on here will be a team-by-team breakdown of ins and outs, together with a word or two on how each team looks to be shaping up as we reach the midpoint of the off-season (yep, it's been almost two months since the end of the season already, folks). Given that I am away this weekend, that may take a few days to appear. In keeping with the one-a-week timescale I've set myself for the summer, it should be on sometime next week. Until then, keep keepign your eye on the puck...

Something about Stephen?

Apologies for the long wait between posts-there's been a lot on recently, including a little football tournament in Austria some of you might be interested in also...but we're back now.

This post was just going to be a quick catch-up, much along the lines of all the other postings you see throughout the summer-but quite frankly there have been so many signings throughout the league in the past week or two, and comment has been made on so many other forums, which I assume the majority of you wonderful people also read, that there's not really much point doing so, so instead I'll concentrate on just one-the Manchester Phoenix signing Stephen Murphy.

Before we begin, let's get something straight. I have enormous respect for anyone who plays between the pipes. As someone who spends the majority of his time while playing hockey on the other end of a shot (ie trying to ping one in at them) I have some idea of how to play hockey. And given that I try and spend time screening them and have delivered more than a slash or two to a legpad in search of a loose puck in my time, I can imagine that it takes some real skill to play goalie successfully at any level. My only experience of playing the position is messing about at the end of practice and completely failing to stop any shot. I prefer to try and score goals rather than stop them. But even so, I have a little idea of what makes a good goalie-they stop pucks consistently.

Which is why the success of Stephen Murphy and the fact that he's so highly rated in Britain baffles me. When he first burst onto the scene with Fife and Dundee in the BNL, the hype (relatively) was massive-here was a young British goalie who was consistently performing at a level which seemed ridiculously good to those watching-and admittedly the fact that he was only 18 just added to it. And then, in the 02/03 season, the first signs that the young Scot was mortal appeared-put pressure on him, score an early goal, and the wall began to crumble.

Despite this, he earned himself a contract in Sweden. Here was a chance to better himself at a higher level-the great Continental adventure was on. One season in the Swedish second league, eight games at Bracknell in the BNL and back to Edinburgh in the starting goalie slot with much fanfare as "the best British goalie"-all this while consistently appearing in the GB squad behind Stevie Lyle, before going back to Scandinavia and then onto Manchester.

My question, though, is simple. What is the big thing about Stephen Murphy? My argument is simple-he's British.

Hear me out here. With the import limits, any advantage that coaches think they can get, they will take. And because of the ridiculous import limits in the EIHL (that's a whole other post, but put simply, my view is "get rid of 'em") a Brit goalie who can start and do a decent job is considered an asset because it gives you an extra import outskater. And they believe Murphy is.

But, what use is that when you're conceding an extra goal or two a game? Murphy's defenders say that he never gives out rebounds-that's because the puck is in the net more often than not. With stats that have a large amount to do with playing on some of the best teams in the league (playing for Fife and Dundee, he was consistently around 92%, before playing for Edinburgh, where he had a save percentage of 88% having supposedly reached a new level. Stevie Lyle, in a better league, earned himself a save % of 90 in Italy before going to 89 in Britain.

In my view, you're better off going with an import goalie than a Brit every single time, particularly in Murphy's case-I don't think I've seen him have a truly dominating goalie performance since about 2003. I just hope Manchester have a great d lined up...

Russ Cowley leaves Coventry:..speaking of overpaid Brits, here we have one whose club think he was, and have thus let him go and already started the justification in the press (today's Evening Telegraph quotes Paul Thompson as saying that the winger was asking for more than he was worth, while sources close to the player claim that the Blaze have treated him shabbily and Adam Calder is also less than impressed with his club over the issue). You'd have thought with every single fan having to pay an extra couple of quid a ticket this season with a price of fifteen quid, as well as the sell-sell-sell dynamic which appears to dominate the clubs dealing with the fans at the Skydome bearing some fruit (so we're told), there was room for some negotiation, but apparently not).

Later this weekend, hopefully Sunday, we'll be returning to the business of keeping up with the summer comings-and-goings and more rumours, but until then, keep keeping your eye on the puck...

Friday Frolics and Big Screen Hockey..

Happy Friday! Right-rumours out of the way first of all...

For Whom The Godiva Bell Tolls: Colin Hemingway is, unsurprisingly, a big, big target this off season. Until Adam Calder decided that he'd rather stay in Coventry than chase the evil euro, he was the Blaze's new first line winger, with pen hovering above paper. With Calder back, though, he won't be....

...but maybe he'll just drop a line instead. How does Stewart/Kelman/Hemingway sound as a second line, Blaze fans?

Dan Tessier to Belfast: Here is someone, on the other hand, who would play rec if you paid him a few hundred more than anyone else was prepared to-and the Giants, unlike the Steelers, are...

Dwight Parrish back to Manchester: So much for retiring...from coaching Bracknell to signing (confirmed on the EIHL website). Parrish gives his nous and veteran presence (yet again) on the Phoenix blue-line. It seems you can take Parrish away from Manchester hockey, but you can't take his love for the place away.

Rumours that this takes the average age of the Phoenix roster this season to about 373 are unconfirmed as yet, though. :)

Rich Bronilla to Coventry: ah, that old chestnut, based on no more than being Neal Martin's mate. David Cullen is still the number-one target by all accounts, but Bronilla is a hell of a fall-back...


Shaun Sutter to Hull:...to replace Rob Rankin (see below). Nottingham to Sheffield to Belfast to Hull...poor old Shaun is coming down in the world. However, if he doesn't have it coached out of him by Rick Strachan, the Stingrays might have a genuine offensive threat...


And confirmed...


Rob Rankin to Newcastle: The Hull exodus continues, with their top scorer now moving across the Tees and Tyne after being chased for a while by Rob Wilson...hot off the presses, this one...

Nathan Craze to Belfast: An old one, this, but I've just caught up with it now. Steve Thornton has the best back-up in the EIHL (unless someone signs Mark Lee). If, unlike Ed Courtenay last season, he can get the starting netminder right the Giants will start to look very strong indeed.

So there you go...

Now onto the frolics for a Friday...as we look at the top ten moments for hockey on the big-screen (well, my personal ten, anyway)...


Hockey movies are a bit thin on the ground compared to the rest of American sports-everybody knows Slapshot and the Mighty Ducks but Youngblood, Mystery Alaska and "Rocket" are a bit more "niche" for the vast majority of casual hockey fans. However, given that they're a part of hockey culture and any hockey fan or player worth his salt should be able to drop a reference such as "Hanrahan...your wife's a lesbian! A LESBIAN!", here's a quick guide to the best moments of hockey on celluloid. These clips can all be found on youtube somewhere (I couldn't add the links thanks to blog software being a bit tempramental)...and may have a naughty word or two to appear in the list (just in case you're easily offended)...



10: Little Richard sings the National Anthem (Mystery, Alaska): Possibly the longest version of The Star-Spangled Banner ever committed to film-it's worth it just to see the NY Rangers shivering.



9: "Ya wanna go, pretty boy?" (Youngblood): Funny just to see Rob Lowe (possibly the least-convincing hockey player ever) win a stick-fight against someone twice his size. The fact he's avenging an injured Patrick Swayze and also scores the winning goal makes it even funnier...



8: "Hanrahan! Suzanne sucks pussy! I know! I know!" (Slapshot): Paul Newman-inspiration for pests and trash-talkers ever since...



7: "Like a mother walrus! Thwap! Thwap! Thwap!" (Mystery, Alaska): The comeuppance for this less-than-chivalrous description of one of the Mystery players' conquests in bed is a punch in the face with a shovel and a VERY painful naked skate-and-slide...hilarious to watch, though.


6: "Blow it out your ass!" (Mystery, Alaska): In one line Burt Reynolds (possibly the best fictional hockey coach ever) sums up what everyone has ever wanted to say to a referee. Disgust, anger, contempt...it's all there in those five words.



5: Steve Hanson shuts up a referee with one sentence (Slapshot): Yes, everyone rhapsodises about the Hanson brothers. Of their many golden moments, few are funnier than the referee who tries to warn them before the game as the anthem plays and is simply ignored as, without even bothering to look at him, Steve Hanson scares him off with the immortal line "I'm listening to the FUCKING SONG!"

4. The Triple Deke (Mighty Ducks): Clearly thought up by someone who'd never played hockey, as if you actually try this move at the speed Joshua Jackson does, you usually get nailed pretty quickly. But the last penalty shot against the Hawks is funny purely for the way you wonder just how bad the supposed "best goalie in pee-wee hockey" has to be to be beaten by the slowest deke in recorded history.

3. The Cat's penalty save (Mighty Ducks II): Not least because, when you're twelve, Julie Gaffney is possibly the best-looking hockey player on the team. Add the comedy of her being brought in just to face a penalty shot from the boy she's fallen secretly in love with (who is also the best player on the evil team) and the ridiculous slow-mo, and it just gets funnier. Add the fact that the villains are Iceland (Iceland?!) and the believability goes right out of the window. But "The Cat" is still a cool nickname.

2: Any moment in "Miracle" that involves a choice, motivational speeches or the USSR game: Because Kurt Russell is great as Herb Brooks, the hockey scenes are actually convincing and don't just concentrate on improbably skilful play by the stars (yes, I'm talking to you, Mighty Ducks)-and the over-acting of the "emotional" parts is funny in itself. Then, of course, there's "do you believe in miracles? YES!"

1: Any fight/Hanson brothers appearance in Slapshot: Just because. Honourable mention to the Ned Braden taking-his-clothes-off homage in Mighty Ducks (where the Bash Brothers go for it in the box). Slapshot is possibly the original and best hockey film-even if it is more than 40 years old. What other film lets people instantly know you're a hockey fan when you quote a line-and has lines for any purpose? I can't think of any...

That's your Friday Frolics over with...feel free to share your favourite hockey film moments, and keep keeping your eye on the puck...

Back and Forth...

The player movement carousel is starting to spin faster now...





Brett Clouthier returns to Phoenix: Damn. Way under-rated ability, size and the heartbeat of Manchester ever since he joined them as a surplus Steeler in his first season in the UK. If Tony Hand can find the forwards with the same amount of skill as Clouts has pure energy, Manchester would walk the league. It also puts the "Ryan Shmyr to Manchester" rumours to rest. I doubt you'll find a single Phoenix fan unhappy with this one.





Mark Garside back in Edinburgh: The Caps start rebuilding their roster well, with one of the best young Brits and an Auld Reekie native. Great things could be ahead for Garside if his development continues at the pace it has been.





JF Perras confirmed in Coventry: Mentioned as a rumour on this blog two weeks ago and now confirmed, the Capitals goalie, blighted in many Blaze fans' eyes (obviously those who never saw him play because they couldn't be bothered to go to a Caps' game) by a relatively poor save percentage, heads south. This guy is proof statistics can lie...he's a hell of a goalie who can lead a team to a title as long as he has a half-decent d in front of him. Trevor Koenig was just the same, and people in Coventry seemed to think the sun shone from his behind (a belief possibly held by the man himself by all accounts). On that basis, expect JF to become a fan favourite fairly quickly. Unless Blaze lose a game or two, then he'll be the sacrificial lamb for many. Unfairly so.





Nick Toneys to Panthers: Silly name, strange signing considering he appears to be very similar to Rumun Ndur working on stats...although cheaper thanks to playing at a lower level...





Mike Prpich and Jason Silverthorn back in Cardiff: Excellent-maybe I'll actually get to see Prpich play now after his injury-shortened (well, destroyed) time last season....As for Silverthorn...well, he can score, I'll say that for him.



Lee Cowmeadow to Devils (fact):...and unlike 2001, he doesn't have to worry about being utterly destroyed by Steve Carpenter. "Wily veteran" are the two words that come to mind here-he'll do a job on the third line and nurture the exciting talent of Ben Davies...





Now for the rumours.





Steve Pelletier to Coventry: Don't laugh...apparently this one is at an advanced stage. Hopefully it doesn't go much further, or you can pity his d-partner for all the two-on-ones they'll be left with...




Greg Wood to Coventry: A little birdie (or should that be calf) from Basingstoke and at least two people from Coventry (both who have been right on many occasions before, including Perras and the as-yet-unannounced-but-open-secret that is Carlyle Lewis) emailed me this one...as Russ Cowley has been pricing himself right out of the market and Wood is younger, hungrier and possibly better...



Colt King to Hull: It's the Hull Vipers! Just search for the guy on youtube to realise he isn't going to be the goalscoring forward (or top d-man or stonewall goalie or player who can tell Rick Strachan his system stifles the hell out of their team and doesn't work that well) that Hull have been praying for. Well, he might fit the last one if he throws a punch or two on the bench, which is eminently possible judging by the fact he looks like an utter fruit-loop...

There you go-a swift round-up updated in the breaks at work. On Friday we'll be looking at the best moments of hockey on the big screen, as well as any other news that may come along...

Keep keeping your eye on the puck...

Taking a Leak and Summertime Songs...

A quick hit or two on a Friday afternoon...

Poor old Panthers. They produce a big song and dance about a "major announcement" taking place today, and then the nasty old BBC and the plainly incompetent NEP go and ruin it for them with a leak or two for their triple signing...so here they are (all now officially released, by the way)...

Jade Galbraith: If you're a Panthers fan, then right about now you're thinking "heeeelllllo...". Despite sounding like he should be a 13-year-old puck bunny in the Coventry crowd (come on, could you get many more stereotypically chavvy girls' names then Jade?) this guy is 14 stone, 5'10 and quite good at sticking a goal or two in. And he was mentioned on this page as far back as late April as a possible Panther. Beat that, Snow Plough...:) Could be pretty impressive...

David Clarke: So much for his amazing European adventure-the arguably premier British forward (as in arguably the best, not arguably good) returns to Nottingham yet again. Fans of other teams around the league immediately start whispering the words "wage cap?" under their breaths. However, there is no doubt Clarke's quality-he should be up among the top points scorers again this season.

Rumun Ndur: Hm. Obviously it's written into the constitution of the Panthers that they have to have one d-man with the turning circle of the Jahre Viking on their blue-line (and about the same stopping distance), so we can assume Robert Stancok is gone...This is a brave signing for the Panthers-no-one quite knows how it'll turn out after his injury-hit time with the Blaze.

Stingrays new rumour: And here he is...Nick Deschenes...Looks like a big, serviceable lad, doesn't he, judging by stats alone...

Summertime IceTunes!: You can tell it's a bit of a quiet summer thus far, although I did think it was about time for some slightly more sun-drenched summer music to sustain you hockey fans through summer, so here we are...

The Ting Tings: That's Not My Name: I mentioned this one in April. Three weeks later, it gets released and goes to number one in its first week. Thank you very much...:) Although there are even better from Jules and Katie...

The Ting Tings: Shut Up and Let Me Go:...and this is one. I can't really say much more than "listen. and enjoy".

Metro Station: Shake It: Remember hellogoodbye last summer? This is like them, only not that bad. It's guaranteed to put you in a good mood...

Scouting For Girls: Heartbeat: As is this. With a chorus more infectious than the Ebola virus, this will be the soundtrack song to every teenage love affair this summer.

Pendulum: Slam!: Yes, everyone likes Propane Nightmares, and yes, they're probably only going to be truly popular for a year or so. Get in on some of their earlier stuff, though, like this (their best song to date, in my opinion) and you'll look a bit cooler down the rock/drum n'bass club...

Nelly and Fergie: Party People: "What up, Berkshire?! Where my party people at?!" Completely silly rap for wannabe gangstas from the Home Counties, but it somehow gets inside your head nevertheless on a summer evening...

Allanah Myles: Black Velvet: Oh yes. Perfect for dancing when you think no-one's looking or you're alone in the house on a hot summer weekend afternoon. Best combined with a cold drink (ice-tea for the proper Southern US thing, but a beer works just as well)...

There you go...happy Friday, and keep keeping your eye on the puck...

Summer Tuesday Thoughts-Bolshy Brits and more...

As promised, here comes another post. There's been a few more signings in the past few days, not least the return of Dan Carlson to Coventry (universally welcomed by Blaze fans) and Peter Campbell leaving Belfast to sign in Denmark (universally welcomed by defencemen and goalies on the nine other EIHL teams). For once, however, we're going to move away from the formulaic "this player has signed here" nonsense which forms the backbone of summer hockey news, and consider one of the thorniest issues in British hockey. Yes, it's Brits v Imports, Part 973.

Don't switch off just yet, though...this will not be an EIHL-fan rant of "imports are cool cause they play better and we want to watch good hockey, which we can't do in the EPL cause it's rubbish", nor will it be an EPL-fan one of "you greedy EIHL fans are killing development in this country and you're all going to go bust eventually anyway, so ha!".

Especially as it's the EPL who are the ones with the money problems with at least two clubs (Bracknell and Chelmsford, anyone?). So much for the "at least we know all the teams are going to playing each season in the EPL" arguments...

Anyway, returning back to the original question. There was a thread on THF recently questioning which Brits were overpaid-to which the first reply was "all of them!". While somewhat radical, let's think about this for a second...

British hockey has an (artificially imposed) limit on the number of non-British players in the system (in the EIHL it's 106 spread over ten teams, in the EPL it's 4 per team). This allows for a maximum of ten/eleven per team. However, hockey rosters typically contain eighteen, nineteen or twenty players. Automatically, there are spaces created for eighty British players in the EIHL and double that number in the EPL. Without these players, you simply can't have a team.

Follow me here. The need for these players is artificially created-we saw in the ISL days that Brits were not necessary to form a team when there was no import limit around-admittedly that league failed thanks to overspending and a ridiculously high wagecap-but there is nothing to say that the same blueprit couldn't work nowadays. The only reason it's not being put into place is because of British players being perceived as "not being given a fair chance".
Given that most British players are of just acceptable level at EIHL standard, particularly the young ones, an open league would likely mean they'd be competing with young Canadian/American/European players, who would be asking the same money but likely be of a higher standard. So British players have to ask for less money in order to make themselves attractive. However, given that the BNL had an import limit, most British players thought "sod that" and said "we'll come play for your BNL team, but since we think we're ISL standard, you can pay us a ton more". And it worked.

So, we're now in a situation where British players are essential parts of a team-get the wrong ones and you're screwed, get the right ones (or those who mean you can use an import somewhere where they're more needed) and you're golden. Trouble is, there aren't all that many good (as in top two line) British players around-and the third-liners vary widely in quality from young inexperienced to old-and-nearly-past-it-looking-for-one-last-payday.

Either way, you can't afford not to actively chase British players. And they know this. They also know that the EPL, with no wage-cap and even more need for Brits, is going to offer them a decent amount of money and allow them to be part-time. This is why players like Gary Clarke, Adam Carr and Lee Richardson (who could easily do a job on a EIHL third line), and Leigh Jamieson and Paul Moran (who aren't exactly superstars but have convinced many they're good enough to do an adequate job) are likely to be able to ask silly money relative to their talents-and why some stay in the EPL to be a big fish in a small pond rather than try and better themselves.

The problem gets even more pronounced at the top level. Jonathan Weaver, for example. A very good player but probably able to add two or three hundred quid to his salary compared with an import of similar quality, just because he can turn round and say "well, I'm British". Compare his ECHL stats and you can see that players like him are ten-a-penny in North America or in Europe...trouble is they can't come in because of an artificially-imposed rule that makes Brits valuable and so clubs have to spend 2-300 more a week on them-which only a few can do. Trouble is, as soon as they start doing this for one player, all the other EIHL Brits go "right, I'm having some of that"...and then clubs who can't afford to waste a ton of money chasing a top Brit and have to spend similar on players of lesser quality suffer, both in the standings and in the cash vaults.

I don't have a solution to this, aside from the dreaded "chop the import limit" idea. In fact, if you've stuck with the rambling this far I'm impressed, as it's essentially a rant on how stupid it is that people should be paid considerably more simply based on their nationality thanks to a ruddy stupid rule which isn't even doing what it was intended to do (get more Brits playing at the top level, for the top clubs, all the time). Most teams go with two lines of imports to do all the major stuff and then throw out a third line of youngsters just to give the stars a rest one shift in every four...and that isn't worth spending a few hundred a week for, nor is it helping the quality a huge amount. British players complain about how hard life is in the EIHL. Frankly, they should listen to Supermac (no, not Sean McAslan but ex PM Harold Macmillan) with his famous words "You've never had it so good".

enough of the rambling, anyway. Apologies if you find this post somewhat disjointed...however, I would appreciate your views on whether the import limit is in fact harming the very game it was meant to save after the ISL years, as I believe.

Keep keeping your eye on the puck...

Signing Round-ups...

You'll have to excuse me-the sunny weather over the past week or two, coupled with news dribbling in rather than flooding, has somewhat nixed the daily postings. However, there's now finally some movement starting to happen, so let's plunge into the merry-go-round...



Panthers re-sign several: The Nottingham Brit Pack is taking shape, with James Ferrara, Geoff Woolhouse and Marc Levers all back for another season at the NIC. One very talented youngster, a back-up goalie and a very effective second/third line grinder aren't a bad three signings to join Brendan Cook and Matt Myers, especially as none of them will be on big money and all are British assets...


Paul Sample to Giants: Belfast have already completed their Brit-pack, with news light on the new signing front thus far. Shane Johnson is of course another one on the roster joining the retuning Graham Walton, Mark Morrison and Stevie Lyle and new signing Dave Phillips.

Running themes thus far in the off-season involve Brits being snapped up quickly and few new players coming in just yet-Sheffield are the only team thus far to really make some signings on the import front, but they're following the Blaze template for success in the past few seasons by retaining as much of their squad as they can, with Doug Sheppard, Jeff Legue, Steve Munn, Randy Dagenais and Ryan Finnerty already taking up five of the import slots. Meanwhile, Manchester, Cardiff and Newcastle are also consolidating by re-signing (or, in the case of Phil Hamer at Manchester, rewarding through promotion) their young talent, Jez Lundin and Carl Graham chief among them. The big changes thus far have come at Basingstoke and Coventry, with Basingstoke losing Greg Owen and Derek Campbell and Coventry losing Rumun Ndur (not really a surprise), Neal Martin (ditto) and Trevor Koenig.

Perhaps the biggest single loss to a team (and indeed the league) thus far is Sean McAslan, who has left Nottingham for Denmark (a popular destination this season)-arguably the best forward in the league, the Panthers captain will be extremely difficult to replace...

That's enough of the outs and Brit ins...-what about the import movements?

Scott Kelman to Coventry: I nearly had a heart attack when someone texted me saying simply "Kelman has signed"...I thought they meant Todd from Belfast. However, Scott Kelman is 6'3 and 215lbs of power-forward from the ECHL. A former first-round draft-pick, he's a replacement for Curtis Huppe and looks quite useful, if nothing hugely special. However, stick him on a line with Carlyle Lewis (yes, I know the Snow Plough hasn't said he's signed yet and thus it can't be true, but my sources say it is) and Sylvain Cloutier and that is an intimidating threesome for any defensive pairing...(on a side note, thanks to the person who let me know about Kelman's signing just before he did-I just wish I'd checked the email a day earlier...)

JF Perras to Coventry: With Koenig gone, the same source as above tells me that Paul Thompson is talking to the Edinburgh stopper about a possible move south after the young Canadian showed flashes of brilliance at Murrayfield last season-this will be a signing which may divide people but I'm all for it-the Quebecois is a superb young goalie who will only get better. But then, Maxime Ouellet has also been mentioned, so who knows? Personally, I'd rather have a young hungry stopper than a failed 1st round draft-pick who can't seem to stay anywhere for long, but so be it.

Russ Cowley to Belfast: Fair enough. Although it makes little sense for either side of the deal-Belfast will be spending more money on someone who is at best a second-liner when they could likely get a comparable quality import more cheaply...quids would appear to be the main motivator for the move away from Coventry...

And moving away from rumours...

Go Pens!: The NHL is fun again, especially if you're a Pittsburgh fan. A Philadelphia-Pittsburgh conference final in the east, and Detroit vs Dallas in the west-four teams who can't half play entertaining hockey when they put their mind to it-watching them on 5 is far more fun than sleeping of a Wednesday evening ...In fact, in Britain at least, there's your advertising slogan....The Stanley Cup Finals. Sleep is Over-Rated...

And on that random tangent, we end another round-up post. Promise you won't have to wait quite so long for the next one, as we look at whether Brits could be pricing themselves too highly for hockey in Britain to survive...

Keep keeping your eye on the puck...

Summer Signing Fun...

No preamble this time...does exactly what it says on the tin...

Jamieson joins Coventry...Well, so it is then. If this is the season that Jamieson finally plays as well as he (by all accounts) thinks he can and already has, then so be it-after all, I was a little dubious about KC Timmons signing last year and was forced to eat a large portion of humble pie when he fast became one of my favourite players-and in this case I won't complain at a second helping. If, on the other hand, we get the error-strewn d performances that saw the Giants all but forced to move him to forward, then I won't need to push the point...watch the notoriously unforgiving Coventry crowd (especially when there's a reportedly large ego-another thing the Midlands crowd don't like in their players, involved into the bargain) turn on him by November. Except the young females, of course...
This has now led to speculation about Tom Watkins' future at Coventry. Hopefully the #20'll be back-although a wild rumour has him linked with Telford of all places...


Steelers re-sign Mark Thomas, Steve Munn and Randy Dagenais: That's the d in Sheffield looking very good indeed thus far, particularly with the return of Steve Munn, who is a definite Breakaway favourite. Mark Thomas would be my pick were I looking to sign a big Brit d-man for my team, a country mile ahead of Jamieson, and Dagenais is just one of those players who does his thing, and does it well. If you're scoring at home, that means the Steelers already have two of their top four d and a heartbeat for their forward lines in Ryan Finnerty, and the temperature hasn't even hit the high teens yet. The Steelers are coming...

Hull to rebuild...Is it possible? Well, according to the Hull Daily Mail it is...apparently just the "inability to score goals, a never-ending injury list and some opponents breaking the wage cap." were to do with last season's debacle. Of course, starting a rebuild with the same coach who caused at least one of those problems and was a contributor to the other unmentioned problems thanks to his chosen style of play being "his team seemingly being told only to cross the blue-line in exceptional circumstances with written permission in triplicate from the coach, and GOD HELP YOU IF YOU SHOOT MORE THAN ONCE A PERIOD!" is like starting a Channel swim wrapped in an anchor. And hogtied. But bless the Humbersiders, they're going to try it anyway. The two remaining fans who believe in Strachan await the changes with bated breath...

Speaking of Hull...all hell apparently broke loose at the Conference junior finals this weekend, with a bunch of youngsters brawling...there is supposedly footage on youtube but I haven't found it yet. I am still looking, though.

Brandin Cote linked with Nottingham: That "YES PLEASE!" you just heard was every Panther fan having the same thought at once on hearing this rumour. But, sorry, people-he's a natural centre. And he's gritty and hard-nosed too. Wouldn't fit in your team at all if you follow the template of the previous two years. But Cote vs Bergin? There's no contest in my eyes-it would make the Panthers games a must-see for me if the littlish centre was to make a comeback...

Phoenix re-sign Carl Graham: Not a bad start-by all accounts Graham impressed up north, although I must confess to not noticing him much when I saw the Angry Budgies. However, retaining your youngsters is never a bad thing...and Tony Hand does seem to have a knack for finding talent in the strangest places as a coach (we'll let him off Omar Ennafatti) :)

There you go...a whirlwind tour through the EIHL for this Tuesday evening. More to come on Friday or thereabouts...sooner if something big happens. Until then, keep keeping your eye on the puck...

First New Arrival and some more rumour talk...

It's officially the new transfer season now that there's a foreigner new to the league around...and can't you just see how excited I am?

Brendan Cook (good god-Richard Hammond plays hockey?!) is the first new import to come to the UK this off season, joining the Panthers after a few underwhelming seasons in the ECHL and one good season with the Austin Ice Bats (CHL) in which he scored 35+29 in 63 games. The 5'9, 184lb Manitoban native looks like more of a Brandin Cote player than a Kevin Bergin, and while a decent standard is hardly setting the Panthers fans alight with anticipation. However, he does compare himself to Joe Tallari and Corey Neilson (who, by the way should not be the Panthers coach because Mike Ellis should still be there, but that's another post) likes him a fair bit. Plus, he's purely listed as "forward" under position, so might actually be a natural centre! Hold yourselves back, Panther fans....

Derek Campbell officially signs for Cardiff: A good start for the Devils-teams always need a player who'll get his nose dirty as well as do the fancy stuff, and Cardiff have always been a team who value those sorts of players, so this isn't a huge surprise. Although I'd personally have backed a stay in Basingstoke because he seemed a good fit there-as can be seen by the sorrowful goodbyes posted by Bison fans on the forums...

Meanwhile, back in Belfast: There appears to be rumblings that the much-hyped oracle known as the Snow Plough has until now missed (for the record, it's not a bad blog-just a bit Leigh Jamieson-people seem to think it's much better than it actually is)...and sniffing the wind here, it involves a fan favourite. Carlyle Lewis has been linked with several teams this off-season, but until now Coventry haven't even been mentioned and surely it's inconceivable that Lewis could go from Belfast to their most hated rivals anyway?
Don't be so sure. Reading between the lines of some texts sent to me today from someone who knows far more than they ever tell me (he managed to pull out the Reid Simonton signing a good month before it got announced in his biggest coup thus far, but there's been a myriad of others he's been right on), it seems the big Belfast bruiser could be on his way across to the Skydome this time round. And this would definitely not be a bad thing. What's more, it fits, thanks to the Blaze's current tough-guy in Rumun Ndur being very unlucky with injuries the past two seasons, and Blaze appearing to need a new forward or two now that Curtis Huppe has retired...

Leigh Jamieson to Coventry: I can sum up my thoughts on this rumour in three words..."Please", "God", and "No!". At the moment,if I may use a pop culture reference, this signing is at the "Annie Leibovitz telling Miley Cyrus that those pictures will be "artistic" and everyone'll see it" stage-with the Blaze fans as Miley-they're an ace from doing the hockey-fan equivalent of dirtying up the hair, wrapping themselves in the towel and getting excited for seeing Belfast's makeshift third-line forward in a Blaze shirt playing d as they talk themselves into something that just seems a bit...well...not right. And we all know how that turned out for Hannah Montana, don't we?

I know it's a fairly short post this evening...but that's the trouble with the summer...you don't really have any games to talk about. Maybe I should start paying more attention to the NHL. :)

Aye well...keep keeping your eye on the puck...