PR People Must Die

I'm going to begin this post with a little story. Settle down, children, and listen to wise old Uncle Paul.

Back in the mists of time, when I was a young lad obsessed with football and still smarting from the horrors of Euro 2000 and England's capitulation to Rumania, a friend of mine invited me to come and see this wonderful American sport called ice-hockey, which took place at the brand-spanking new ice rink that had just gone up in Coventry city centre. Back in those days it was a place where only a few hard souls watched players with names like Chartrand and Millie, and the ISL title had a young upstart team from Belfast chasing it. It was so long ago, kiddies, that Steve Moria was only 39 and Tony Hand was but a stripling at 33, and both were playing in a long-forgotten league called the ISL...

Anyway-when I walked in through the doors I was hooked-mainly because this was the first sporting event I'd been to where it was considered acceptable to play rock music during play. And because of the glorious anarchy of the thing-people messed about in the stands shouting at the players, there were fights, and the whole presentation looked like it was being made up on the spot and actually trying to be itself rather than something for everyone. It felt different.

For the next few years, as my team won things, I learned more about the sport, began to play it and fell out of love with football, it remained unchanged. This sport was cheap but not nasty, big but not driven by money (well, at least not commercially) and you got the feeling that things would stay the same....

Enter the evil dragon known as PR, followed by its twin, commercialism. Suddenly, the marketing men got their hands on things as clubs decided to stop doing what had worked for them up until now and decided that they wanted families through the doors. After all, they have the most spending power...

And now we are in a world created by demographics, spreadsheets, people who see the bottom line before they see the game itself, and people who talk in terms of "guaranteed income" and "merchandise". A world where we get six different kits a season so three can be marketed-a world where every night seems the same as every other sporting event/kids party. A world where the product on the ice may be as good, but it's being neutered by the cookie-cutter presentation off it. The otherness of hockey has dropped as the prices have risen...costs go up as the USP of hockey (its rawness-its aggression, and the fact that it seemed proud to be different in all areas) have fallen away, drowning in a whirl of account spreadsheets, marketing figures, and "fan initiatives" which often funnel more money in and prey on the mind with a "if you really support the club, then come join us for this" message.

And who can we blame for this? Certainly not the matchnight volunteers who work hard making sure the lights go on, the music plays and the mascots dance-they're working as hard as ever. But they're being driven not by their passion for the sport, but by the constant whisper from the marketing department..."if we play it safe, be like everyone else, and appeal to everyone, we can't go wrong".

Sorry. But this writer thinks you can. And if you read the forums, he isn't alone. One of the main complaints at most clubs when it comes to the management is "the sterile atmosphere-the kid's partiness of matchnights."

The fun is being slowly sucked out of hockey-the defence that "people like it the way it is" is built on people new to the sport who have never seen the old WNIR rocking to heavy metal and stamping feet, heard the roar at a packed Steelers'/Panther's derby or experienced a BNL-era Blaze away coach trip. In trying to please newbies by making hockey just like everything else, hockey teams are risking losing the very thing that attracted their crowd to the sport in the first place.

Yes, I admit that the title is sensationalist-I am not actually advocating murder. Nor am I saying that these marketing people don't work hard. Because they do. I know-I've worked with them. They are arguably some of the most passionate people you'll meet. Trouble is, when it comes to the selling of their sport, the head comes first in their thinking, rather than the heart. What I am saying is maybe, just maybe, they're aiming their efforts ever so slightly off target.

I've been the one playing the music on a matchnight-and had the friction with those who supposedly "knew" how they wanted things to sound, because all I ever did while up there was play stuff I thought fitted-stuff that had been the norm over the speakers when I started watching the game. When I started watching, continued to watch and then played the music myself, a hockey night didn't have all the inflatable hands/twenty different hoodies at the concession stand/a big merchandise stand selling tat at every rink. You got the shirt raffle, a fifty-fifty draw, a replica shirt if you were lucky, and that was it. As for the music-it was rock, and it was loud-it was unashamedly different, and there were moments when a fair few people in the crowd probably couldn't have "named that tune" or claimed it to be mainstream entertainment if you'd put a gun to their head. And it certainly didn't please all the people all of the time. Sometimes, considerably less.

But here's the thing that maybe the PR people don't want to hear. It worked. And the crowds kept rising even though the prices did.

Now? Now we have "family tickets", "flex packages", a nice mix of music that even Grandma can't find offensive, merchandise coming out the tailpipe, and everyone tries to emphasise the "family sport" aspect in every possible way.

Trouble is, now people complain the sport is business-oriented, the atmosphere has dropped, and watching just isn't fun. Funny, that, ain't it?

Well, you used to see families back then, too-and they loved it then even if the seats were slightly uncomfortable or the music was a bit heavier then Mum, Grandma or little Ellie in the pushchair had heard before and you could only buy one or two types of ticket-standing or seating. Because it was different.

Now, thanks to the PR people deciding they need to appeal to everyone, the very thing that set hockey apart is dying. And no amount of flex-ticket packages, "meet the players" nights, etc, can compensate.

Be brave, people. Stand up for old-time hockey. Clubs-play the music loud, throw away the "High School Musical for the kids" CD, and forget the club-themed underwear-spend the money on some classic hockey rock or making the replica shirts cheaper instead. Or better still, on getting people through the doors through posters, radio ads, free tickets given away on the day of the game, or the day before in city centres And forget trying to influence the crowd to clap along. If the game is going well, the crowd are allowed to shout, the rock music is pumping and the magic of the hockey night is allowed to flourish, then once people are through the doors (as they will be if ticket prices are kept reasonable and not allowed to rise year on year) they'll be hooked. Just like I was.

Go on. Dare to be different.

After all-that's what hooked me...

Hotch-Potch Hockey

Be warned. If you're expecting an erudite analysis of Manchester signing Bruce Mulherin as their centre (he looks like a very good 2nd line two-way centre) or Edinburgh signing Joe Dustin (described brilliantly on Four Point Four Seconds as "screaming mediocrity") then I would look elsewhere-it appears the heat has gone to my head as I jump around British hockey to begin the weekend...

A Change is Gonna Come: Sam Cooke probably wouldn't approve of the title of his gospel masterpiece being used to introduce a discussion of why stuff like this is what you play at hockey, but hey.

Regular readers of this blog will know about my constant championing of the marriage of hockey and rock, and scorn at desperately trying to suck people in by playing mainstream pop etc. I was fairly scathing about my own club as far as this goes...

Well, it seems the revolution has begun... (long thread, but all you need is to bear in mind that the club asked for music suggestions, and these are the replies-just take a few posts and you will get the flavour...:)

I think there's maybe ten songs out of a few hundred that ain't rock to the nth degree. And that's the way it should be.

Ticket Price Torment: A little strong, perhaps, but Becky has followed up her mini essay responding to my swipe at Manchester's tickets below with an even better one on Five Minute Major-there isn't any way I could do it justice in summary so click on the blog title on the right to read it...

If you want an emotional connection, watch Grey's Anatomy: Interestingly, my open letter to Dan Tessier (well, more of a rant on the emphasis on "team guys" by fans as a reason for signing a player rather than ability) has generated a comment from a Panthers fan which I reproduce below:

Good comment about Tessier Paul, as a Panthers fan I don't particularly like the guy, and will gladly boo him all game long, but I'd still be happy to see him return to us. Brings great quality at this level.

This raises a question in my mind. Should we, as fans, really care what a person is like as long as he does the business on the ice-or is this something born out of the much closer contact between players and fans in the UK? I'm not sure beacuase I'm not really one to try chasing the players around to have contact with them off the ice like some fans (of both sexes)-personally I couldn't care less about their personal lives or what they're like with their team-mates unless it directly affects me. And even then, only as long as it does so.

However, it seems that, to be successful in British hockey (or at least popular with your public) you not only have to be good on the ice but also be constantly available off it, for whatever people want to do with you.

Personally, if Blaze sign a hot-shot centre/winger who'll score a hundred goals a season but is a surly sod who avoids all contact with fans and barely speaks to his team-mates, I'd be happy-because I don't pay my 15 quid a week to hang around with a bunch of Canadians or talk about just who our star right-winger is playing tonsil-hockey with this week-I pay to be entertained by top-quality hockey. Which is why I agree whole-heartedly with the Panther fan's comment and wish more people would take his/her view-I too have come to the conclusion over time that, you don't have to particularly like a person to appreciate their skill.

Basically, what I'm saying to all those people who will say "I don't like that player as a person or because people have said he's a bit of an arsehole when you ask for an autograph, so I think he's utterly crap"....just shut up whining and watch the game. And don't get emotionally attached, because the fact of the game in Britain is most times-people move on very quickly.

(Of course, if they're a surly sod who are clearly not doing the job sufficiently well on the ice either, then all bets are off) :)


That's all for now-keep keeping your eye on the puck...

With Teeth...or an Open Letter to Dan Tessier

(Warning: this post may contain a naughty word or two. Nothing too bad but probably best you don't read it out in church):

I know it's been a little while since I've posted on here (two weeks, in fact) and in that time Belfast have completed their roster, or near as dammit, Sheffield have completed theirs, and Coventry have lost their inspirational captain Sylvain Cloutier. We'll get to the third of these three in a minute, but first fairness compels me to consider the fact that a club in the UK are now charging £17 to watch their games-and it isn't Coventry!

Thank you, Manchester...I spend most of November praising your efforts and then you go and raise ticket prices to seventeen pounds for walkups. Has anyone told them we're currently in a credit crunch? Come to that, has anyone told any of the Elite teams? Or the EPL?

In Manchester's favour, it will still (relatively) cost about the same for families thanks to a chop in the kids prices-but even so...how many away fans can say now they'll definitely make all three league trips to Manchester (another way of saving money for the walk-ups).
The real tragedy of this is that there are some very good rosters being built this season (including in Manchester)-but with economics being the way they are, there may well be fewer people to watch them...

Newcastle get a big Mac: And for once, there's not a topless football fan in sight. Chris McAllister is back in the UK-all 6'7 of him. Maybe Hull won't have it all their own way. This monster can play too...

Plug of the Week: Given that I always keep an eye out for newbies in the hockey blogosphere (apart from the Snowplough-which was good when it got Carlyle Lewis coming to the Blaze right (after me, by the way) but not great since then, I recommend that this week, as well as all on the blogroll at left, you add Four Point Four Seconds to your trawl through the blog world. Yes, it's by a Panthers fan, and thus may contain some anti-Sheffield/Coventry/refereeness but it's ruddy good thus far, and another quality addition to the expanding world of UK hockey blogs...

Let's see-we now have Edinburgh, Coventry, Belfast, Manchester, Hull, and Nottingham covered, plus the EPL...four more teams and the (EIHL and EPL) scene is well and truly covered. Plus the Ice Hockey Annual blog (link to follow)

Where's Sylvain Cloutier-gone to the U.S.A: Apologies to Panthers fans for nicking their song, but come on...you grinned...and predictably, there is an outbreak of holier-than-thou-ness on the hockey forums when Dan Tessier is mentioned as his replacement, with many (Blaze fans in particular) saying that they wouldn't inmediately sign Dan Tessier-who was rumoured to be coming in as injury cover in January, let's not forget. It seems to be one of the few things you can get Nottingham and Coventry fans to agree on. And I have three (one slightly naughty) words to anybody who is seriously letting this "oh, he's a bit of a loner (to put it politely)" image cloud their view of him or any other similar player. And also to the whole "you need to be a nice guy to be an important part of a team-everyone has to have chemistry with everyone else".

Bollocks to it.

Dan Tessier scores goals. And sets them up. Very frequently indeed. Now, I accept that. if the reports are true, he is not the easiest guy to get on with. I also accept every team (supposedly) needs everyone to get on to do well (although I'm suspicious of that "truth" since we as hockey fans likely wouldn't give two flying pucks if there were bare-knuckle fights in the dressing room if our team was winning on the ice-have you never seen Slapshot and such like? There's so much stuff in the press about it that "he's a good team guy" is now a phrase used to excuse all manner of inability or shortcoming on the rink-people make decent, well-paid careers out of being "good team guys" with relatively little hockey ability, even in the NHL, for God's sake).

Games aren't won by "which team gets on the best" though. They're won by "who scores the most goals". And with Dan Tessier or someone like him in your side you will more often than not score more than the opposition. Which means trophies, wins, and everyone conveniently forgetting that someone isn't Mother Teresa. Quite frankly, were I a coach who had 20 players who never spoke to each other apart from training and games (when they played like they'd shared the ice with the other 19 all their lives) because they despise each other and was called on it, my first reply would be "hey-they win."

For this to come from Blaze and Panthers fans in particular is particularly rich-Panthers were the ones who brought Tess to the UK in the first place (and loved him until he left) and Blaze fans forgave the excesses of Andre Payette=who had at least one bare-knuckle training fight-oh, and offered out a team-mate (Doug Schueller) during a game. But Blaze won the treble, he was a major reason Dan Carlson and Adam Calder had the space to play (without a similar player they'd be checked into next week by legal and illegal means) and so these same people talking about Tessier's character flaws can, in the same breath, defend similar from a player who won them games.

So, Tess, as long as you keep being one of the best centres ever to play in the EIHL, bollocks to the doom-mongers or the people who will turn down someone unless they hug kittens, get on with everyone and are GOOD TEAM GUYS. I will join every other fan in the league with an import slot still open in whispering, even if they will never admit it...

"come and play for the team I support. Please?"